One thing I realized in my almost 35 years here on earth. I am by far my own worst critic. Throughout my journey of life, I have faced so many challenges, more than most face and their entire lifetime. Which looking back most of those experiences I’m grateful for, extremely grateful. Because without those experiences I wouldn’t be who I am today. I think with anything that happens to us whether it’s good or bad, there is always a less involved. We always learn something through our experiences.
You see, I’ve never been somebody that can read a book and obtain much of anything. That being said it depends on the type of book. If I’m trying to learn something and apply it to a test then a book is not going to work for me. If I read a book to learn a lesson about life or how to improve myself or I read a biography about somebody I admire, then I learn a great deal from the book. Why there is such a difference between the two I don’t know. Several years ago I made a decision to put my trust in somebody that I never should have. It was not a romantic relationship it was nothing of that sort. It was with somebody that I thought I could trust, that I admired, that I looked up to. I’ve always been one to trust too easily. I’m not so sure anymore if that’s a bad thing or a good thing because it’s brought both happiness and heartache to my life. So back to this particular person she took advantage of my heart and I made some really poor decisions based on some false facts that she shared with me and based on the person that she was. And I’m not blaming anyone, I’m 34 years old back then I was 26-27 and I made my bed. I chose to believe in this woman and I chose to turn my back on other people because she made it seem like it was the best decision for me. 
It was one of those situations where I was upset at the world and I needed somebody to hold me accountable and to call me on my crap and to make me more self aware of what I was doing to myself and other people but this person saw it as an opportunity to come in and convince me otherwise and turn me against those people that actually genuinely loved me. It’s such a long story to tell in a Blog but you always have to be careful with who you trust. Who has your best interest at heart? Who is strong enough to call you on the carpet when you’re being an asshole?Who has a big enough heart to reward you when you done something good? And I’m not talking about buying you a gift but noticing when you’re doing something right in life rather than everything you’re doing wrong. I made amends with the people affected by the choice that I made with this woman. I went to each individual person and I personally apologized for my part in it. This was how many years ago now? But do you know that I still think about that every day I still carry go with me I still have regret. And here I am almost 35 years old and I teach people how to be confident, I teach people how to accept themselves and others just as they are. I teach people to grow and learn and accept their past and move forward. But here I am still dwelling on a mistake I made years ago. I guess it’s human nature in a way. I am not perfect, I am far from perfect. I have an unbelievably colorful unpleasant past a lot of which was my own doing. But as I sit here over these past couple of months reflecting on a lot of decisions I’ve made where I’m at now and where I want to be I realize if I keep thinking about my past I will never enjoy my future. 
You see, I’m not even close to the person I was 10 years ago.  and I’m proud to say that. I know none of us are who we were 10 years ago I completely understand that. But my values my core beliefs everything about me has changed in so many positive ways. I think I’ve always been the same person at heart  I just did a terrible job at showing  who I truly am for many years. 
And I think I need to remember that a little bit more often. I have to remember how far I’ve come and how far I still have to go.  I have to stop being my own worst critic and be my biggest fan. I have to remember that I’m human and I’ve come so far from where I was before. We have all let someone down a time or two in life including ourselves. We have all been in a place that we never thought we could come back from. We have all sat in our car or in our home at one point and thought to ourselves my life could never get worse oh, this is horrible, how am I going to get out of this. The outcome of our lives are up to us. sure we can’t control what happens to us but we can control how we handle and react. I refuse to start my life feeling sorry for things I did 10 years ago, I need to stop being my own worst critic.

 The best thing you can do when you love somebody that has made a huge change in their life is accept them for the changes they’ve made.  the worst thing you can do if you love somebody that has done a complete life remodel is to bring up the past and to dwell on the past of course we can’t forget the past but we don’t live there anymore so why talk about it?
Live your life today with Integrity, live with a heart for others, be honest, open doors for people, when you make a mistake say you’re sorry, realize nobody is perfect including yourself. Be your biggest fan!

#ownworsycritic #past #beconfident #bekind #bekindbetruebestrongbeyou

When I was in seventh grade, I had hardly any friends at all. In fact, most days I would eat lunch in the school bathroom. It was just easier that way. Of course being me I so badly wanted to have friends, I want you to eat my lunch with friends. But for reasons beyond my control I was not liked. Kids didn’t want to be around somebody that could have a seizure at any time, they didn’t know what to do, they didn’t know how to handle me.

One day, a group of girls that I so badly want to be friends with came up to me and asked if I’d like to be their friend while I sat in the bathroom eating my lunch. Of course I immediately tossed my pizza pocket in the garbage and said absolutely! It said great, we would love for you to sit with us at lunch tomorrow and be our friend but first you have to do an initiation process. Which I thought okay I’ll do anything to make friends. They walked me down the hall to the band lockers. Keep in mind for those of you that didn’t go to school with me the band lockers were quite a ways away from most of the classroom. Lunch was ending so I had to hurry and do this initiation so I could be their friend. One of the girls told me that if I could fit my body into a locker I could be their friend. This Locker was a little larger because it was meant for an instrument such as I believe a tuba. So, me being gullible and desperate for a friend I slid into the locker. Unfortunately at first I didn’t fit, they explained I needed to be fully into the locker so they could shut it and we could walk away as friends. So I wiggled around and fit myself in the locker. And I’m sure you all know what’s coming, they shut the locker door and locked it. I couldn’t have been more embarrassed than I was in that moment.
I was so excited at the thought of having friends. I was willing to do anything in that moment. And now look what happened. Like I mentioned earlier, lunch was almost over. The band lockers were away from everyone. So there I sat banging on a locker door until someone found me. Obviously I was able to get out, no harm done accept humiliation.
If you read back at the words you just read, I mentioned friends several times. Now, remembering that story and remembering the characters of the girls that I wanted to be friends with I realize that is where I failed. School pressures us to fit in, to wear certain clothes, to be somebody that we’re often., just to be accepted.
A real friend would never make you do anything other than just be yourself to be their friend. Looking back there are many stories like this one that I could tell you, for some reason I just did not learn my lesson for a long time after this. But the lesson and all of these occurrences, it’s to never ever compromise yourself, change yourself, or try and mold into what somebody wants you to be, just so that you can call them your friend. Your real friends, will love you no matter what, we are UPS, through your Downs. The fact that I’ve epilepsy, should have never held me back from having friends. But unfortunately in school then, and in school now. Kids are not accepting of the less fortunate, the disabled, the poor, the kids who struggle academically. I could keep going on but you get my point, when you get to be my age which is now 34 it’s very easy to see what matters in a person and in a friend. 

I spoke to a group of college kids recently, and my main point and everything was to teach them what really matters in life as far as who you are as a person and who you attract, and why? College age kids are still in that mindset somewhat, some, not all. We did some role-playing, some questions and answers. But the best moment of all was when I asked them to voluntarily raise their hands if they have any form of disability, if they’ve been bullied, if they feel that they are less fortunate than others and that has had an effect on their relationships, if they take medication for any form of a disorder or disability. I asked them to voluntarily raise their hands, and mind you I did say it’s not required but any of you who feel like sharing that you fall into any of these categories please raise your hand. And do you know what out of hundreds of kids all but maybe 10 raised their hands.
So what that show did the group, is that its more common to have something, to have some sort of a disadvantage in life, so why are we making fun of each other for it. And I guarantee you some of those kids out of the 10 that didn’t raise their hands probably had something because we all do and they weren’t comfortable sharing which is totally fine.
Kids need to be taught acceptance, they need to be taught empathy. There is no reason that kids more often than not are going to school dreading it because they are so afraid of how they’re going to be treated. And it’s funny because the kids that are bullied have the biggest hearts out there. 
Our kids need to be taught acceptance, empathy, and an understanding that we all have something and we really all have more in common than we realize. Who do we want standing in our Corner when life gets hard? It shouldn’t matter what those people are wearing, how much money they have on them, it shouldn’t matter at all. I say judge people more on their character and on their heart and less than what they have to offer you or what you feel they’re lacking in life.
Be kind. Be true. Be strong. Be you

Touring the course for our golf tournament this weekend!!!!!

  • I’ve been thinking a lot about life, I’ve been spending a lot of my time self-reflecting. I’ve been thinking about choices I made in the past, dreams I had in the past, thinking about who I want to be, and what I want to be known as. And one thing I realized is over the course of 34 years I’ve changed my mind, I changed my path, I changed my circle of friends, I have changed my biggest supporters, I have burned plenty of bridges, but I’ve also tried to repair them as well. I’ve been a wife, I’ve been an ex-wife, I’ve been a girlfriend, a friend, a mom, I’ve been fired, I’ve gotten more tickets than I probably should have, I’ve been promoted, I’ve been demoted, I’ve been sick, I’ve had plenty of hospital stays, I have moved too many times, I’ve had hundreds of seizures, I’ve taken thousands of pills on my life to control my seizures, I tried tons of diets, I ate way too much sugar,  I sing way too loudly in the car,  I never been out of the country except to Canada and Mexico and even in Mexico was like barely over the Border. I hate to be late,  and I really can’t stand traffic,  I spend most of my time over thinking about everything . I’ve also done my best to help other people. These are just some of the things I’ve done. In life I’ve learned that, life is not perfect. Life is not easy. Everyone has bad days, everyone makes mistakes, everyone is in situation throughout life that they want to just crawl in a hole and die. We all have great days we all have not-so-good days. I think in life too many people focus on the mistakes they’ve made,  they focud on their shortcomings, they focus too much on the hard times, but man those hard times make or break us. There is no real way to determine who you’re going to be in life or the path you’re going to take because no matter how planned out your life is and how many goals you have there’s always going to be things thrown at you. I think the harder of a life someone leads the stronger person they are because they learned to overcome. And let me tell you I’ve learned to overcome. I will never claim to be perfect, I will never claim to know everything, but what I will do, spend my life trying to be the best version of myself and right now I don’t know what that is or what that looks like. All I can do everyday is wake up make smart choices, be a good mom, be a good friend, live my life with integrity and realize that not every day is going to be perfect, not everybody is going to like me and not everybody’s going to approve of who I am or what I stand for. What matters most is that I like me, that I approve of me, and then I am happy. And in turn my girls will be too. Life is too short to worry about all the little things that could or will or might happen. You must take life as it comes and while you’re taking your life as it comes, doing your best to deal with all the life throws out yet. Realize the others are doing the same so the next time you see somebody or you know somebody that’s living their life less than perfect or is living their life differently than you think they should, or is making more mistakes then you can count. Try to offer less judgement. None of us have any reason to judge each other, we really are all the same when you get down to it and I know all of us can agree, on those hard days, and those dark times, and those unsure not so proud moments that we all face- the last thing we need is somebody looking at us laughing and judging us.  when somebody is going through something look at them with empathy, try to understand where people are at in life and why they might be there, because I can promise you at one point in your life you will be there too, and the last thing you will want as somebody judging you. A little kindness goes a long ways.

Relationships don’t coast by on autopilot. They need active constant effort to keep the love alive.  Here are six secrets to stay in LOVE forever:

  1. Us” Time: You may spend lots of time with your spouse but is it quality time? Whether it’s a weekly date night, a few overnights, or an extended vacation, make sure that you have time where you can focus exclusively on each other. While it may be a challenge financially or difficult if you have young children, it’s crucial to do your best to make this happen in some doable form. When you do go out, don’t use it as an opportunity to talk about the kids, run errands, or strategize for work, focus on “us.”
  2. Connect throughout the day: Do you remember when you first met? You may have been so excited to see each other that you used every spare moment to call each other even when you were apart. It’s worth revisiting some of your old practices that you engaged in when your love for each other seemed all encompassing. Make an effort to connect with each other throughout the day. Send a short text message or email to let your spouse know that you’re thinking about him/her. Make a call during lunch to say I love you. These regular connections during the day will keep the positive feelings flowing and make your time together when you return home that much more meaningful.
  3. Give Appreciations: It’s so easy to notice the flaws in our spouse and take the virtues for granted. We need to throw out this recipe for resentment. Instead make it a habit to express gratitude and overlook their faults. Daily appreciations will help you not lose sight of all the good your spouse does for you. You’ll also get in the habit of focusing on the positive and your partner will feel loved. Make a few minutes a day to include appreciations in your routine. Sit down and look into each other’s eyes and share what you appreciate about what your spouse did for you today or a quality that he/she possesses.
  4. Try new things: Don’t let your relationship doesn’t get stale. Try new things together. When you were dating you may have done new activities together. How exciting is your relationship? Take a cooking class, go rock-climbing, learn something new together and you’ll see how it will liven up your relationship. Even if you don’t have the same interests, you can still have fun together.
  5. Make your spouse laugh: Laughing can create the same chemical bond as intimacy. Couples can get bogged down in the heaviness and stress of life. Negativity can permeate the atmosphere and ruin all attempts to connect, even on a nice vacation. Infusing laughter into your relationship can cut through the stress faster than anything else.
  6. Praise your spouse’s physical appearance: While this may be more important to women than men, it is a nice gesture to positively comment on your spouse’s appearance. As we age and begin to feel self-conscious about our looks, it’s really helpful to know that your spouse still finds you attractive. With the constant barrage of advertisements showing us what we are supposed to view as beautiful, it is nice for women to know that their husbands still love their looks as they did when they first got married.

I hate to be blunt, but I want to be very honest. The world has changed. The world I lived in as a child has changed. We as a society have become judgmental, hateful,  unfaithful and entitled among other things. Now, don’t get me wrong there are still a lot of genuine, wholesome, accepting, hardworking individuals. But, as a whole more often then not I am running into things I don’t care for.

Judgement. I remember when I was 13. I wore baggy t-shirts, jeans, probably high tops or tennis shoes of some sort, wore my hair in a pony tail most days, had braces or a retainer in, maybe wore blistex if I was really feeling like getting dolled up. Now, at that time I began having a lot of medical issues, so people weren’t always accepting but at the same time society lacks knowledge about my condition (Epilepsy) Back to what I was saying, I had no style. None of us really did. We were just us! We made up games to play, we rode bikes, we had allowance we would spend at A&W or Walmart. We, for the most part loved each other. Yes there were the popular kids, or the choir crowd, the drama crowd and yes there was the kids who were given a hard time. I was one of them. But my point now is, I have many clients or contacts who are being bullied. Not only children and teens but adults as well. Sometimes it’s because some girls can’t afford to or maybe their parents won’t get their 15 year old daughter brand name lip gloss or brand name purses. Or teen boys are often bullied and beaten up over not having certain sport equipment. God forbid their parents shop at Target or Walmart or whatever store alike. Adults are being treated poorly because they are overweight or underweight or they drive an 10 year old car, or they can’t afford a vacation at a 4 star resort which in turn “they can’t keep up” so their friendships dwindle. None of this is acceptable. People have become so hateful towards race, gender, and how people identify themselves. In my opinion too many people think it’s ok to be shitty to people that aren’t’ up to their status or standard and don’t conform to what they “should be” in some people’s eyes.

Hate: The amount of cruel people I have come in contact with is overwhelming.  Especially in my work. The amount of children for instance that are having seizures. The way they are treated even by adults is absolutely crazy and again unacceptable. People are so hateful toward people that have no control over their situation. People seem to think or assume everyone needs to or should be perfect. It used to be you’d have a family fight, or maybe a fight with a friend, you’d apologize, they’d apologize and you move forward. Now a days it’s easier to say “I can’t stand them” and cut them out of your life. Sometimes our loved ones become depressed, take to alcohol, have an affair on their spouse, face addiction, get into drugs, decide we are no longer straight. Rather then understanding we are so quick to turn on people who are “imperfect” Sadly that’s often times our loved ones needs us most. People seek love in unloving ways. Turning on them, or being hateful only enables and makes it worse. When did we become such an unaccepting society. Again this doesn’t fit all who will read this. But I am just speaking from the majority of people I see. Also this doesn’t mean this has anything to do with my family or my friends. People are ending relationships right and left over opinion. Whether it’s political, religious, or something else. What happened to a good old fashioned debate where we shake hands afterward and move forward?

Unfaithful: Remember when marriages lasted 50-60 plus years? Me too! Remember when times got tough and couple turned to each other and fixed the problem rather then seeking out the first person that’ll give us attention elsewhere. People are always looking for the next best thing. People are seeking attention from anyone who will give it to them. The world of social media offers us a lot of pro’s but for relationships it adds a lot of stress and opportunities that shouldn’t be considered. If we poured half the effort into our significant others that we seem to pour into a stranger we would be so much better off.  I think one major problem is there is SO much access on the internet to porn, web cam sites, dating apps, pictures of other women or men wearing next to nothing. And our temptation overtakes or commitment. Back in 1954 the man worked, women stayed home. The man came home to dinner on the table and his black and white TV. People were more about family and less about everything else. Vows used to mean something, now they are typically until something else comes along or the person we married isn’t always perfect or easy to live with. Divorces have become expected and very normal. You meet someone that says I have been married for 30 years and I’m so happy. It’s almost gotten to where your jaw drops! Really? You stayed true to your vows??? I would rather be on my death bed holding the man’s hand I have loved for many years then sitting there alone watching Judge Judy.

Entitled: My parents were very good to me growing up. But, I also was taught that things are earned. If I wanted something extra I had to do chores. I got so used to helping out, that I actually really liked it. I used to help with mowing the lawn from time to time, stacking wood, I would help mom clean the house, helped my dad work and I enjoyed these things. Now I meet with kids sometimes in their teens and I am stunned by their mannerisms. I am surprised they haven’t been taught to work for the things they want. A lot (NOT ALL) But a lot of these kids think they “get” things just because their kids and their friends got them. People are looking for a handout more often then not. Back in the day you worked your butt off, and when you didn’t have the means to do or get something. You went without. Not now. Again I understand and respect that there are still people who work their butts off and instill that same belief in their children. But as well all know that is not the norm. We aren’t raised that way anymore.

My point in this post is not to be negative or generalize anyone or anything. However it is what it is. Life has changed. Being a kind person in the world we live in gets you accused of being fake. I wish I alone could change the world back to how it used to be. But I cannot. We together as a nation should be working toward this. We/ or some of us have turned the world into a place I honestly don’t want my children raised in. My kids aren’t allowed to ride their bikes throughout the neighborhood or down to the store. They no longer build forts, they want to play on their tablets. Often times we don’t appreciate what we have we constantly want more. We as a whole need to work together at spreading kindness, accepting others, and loving people.




  • 1
  • 2